Sexual abuse

Sex ought to be an equal, shared and pleasurable activity between two people of similar ages. Sexual abuse is totally different; it is when one person (usually a man) does sexual things to another (usually a child or a woman) without their consent or agreement. This is done to overpower, frighten or hurt her. This is generally because he has more power – he’s perhaps older, stronger or has more authority and takes advantage of this.

Sexual abuse can be a one-off incident or it can happen over a long period of time. Abusers can be strangers but they are most often men or boys that you know. It is always the abuser who is to blame for the abuse and not the girl or the woman it happens to.

The following things can be called sexual abuse:

• Having sexual remarks made about you
• Being asked to undress or be watched when undressing
• Being made to watch pornographic films or look at pornographic pictures
• Having photographs taken of you or being filmed on a mobile phone doing sexual things
• ‘Sharking’ (Where a group of people, usually men or boys, sneak up on a woman in a public place and expose her breasts or pull down her underwear in order to humiliate her. This is sometimes photographed or recorded on mobile phones.)
• Being touched on your private parts or breasts
• Being forced to have oral sex (when a man puts his penis in your mouth)
• Being made to touch another person’s private parts
• Being raped (forced to have sexual intercourse)
• Being bullied or coerced into having sex or doing sexual things
• Having objects put into your vagina, anus or mouth