“If you wear revealing clothes, it’s your own fault if you get raped.”
WRONG! No girl ever deserves, or asks to be raped no matter what she wears. To say that is like saying that someone is asking to be mugged because they are carrying a bag, or someone is asking to have their house burgled because they have a nice television. This is just a way of excusing the behaviour of men who rape or abuse.
“If a boy takes you out and spends a lot of money on you he’s entitled to something in return.”
WRONG! Sexual intercourse should involve an equal decision between two people. You have the right to say ‘No’ to sexual activity at any point, whether or not a boy or man has paid for your night out, drinks, meal, clothes etc. If a man forces sex on a woman after he has bought something for her, it is still rape.
“Rape isn’t that serious – it’s just sex when you don’t want it."
WRONG! Rape is not the same as sex. For the woman, it is a violent act over which she has no control and during it many women fear for their lives. If she knows the man, or if she has had sex with him before, it is still rape.
“Most girls who say they’ve been raped aren’t telling the truth. They’re just attention-seeking.”
WRONG! Telling someone that you’ve been raped or abused is far from easy and women very rarely lie about it. Sometimes a girl who has told someone that she has been raped or abused may take it back because she is afraid of what might happen as a result of her telling. In fact, only about 3% of rape allegations are false – the same percentage as for false allegations about any other crime.
“But if it was your boyfriend, it doesn’t count as rape – especially if you’ve had sex with him before.”
WRONG! If you didn’t want it, it’s rape: even if you’ve consented to sex before. You have the right to say no at any time, even while having sex. Being your boyfriend doesn’t mean he can force you to have sex.
“If the girl’s been drinking, it’s her own fault she was raped.”
WRONG! Alcohol is a legal substance. The person responsible for the rape is always the rapist. Just because a girl is drunk, it isn’t OK to force her to have sex.
“Only weird strangers are rapists. Never people you actually know.”
WRONG! The most common rapists are the victim’s husband or partner, and 97% of callers to the England and Wales rape crisis lines knew the perpetrator before they were raped.